SNL Flashback: The "All-Drug Olympics" Weightlifting Finals

Dennis Miller introduces the All-Drug Olympics SNL 10/8/1988

With the Tokyo Summer Olympics in full swing, this is the perfect time to look back on one of the funniest Olympic-themed Saturday Night Live sketches: Weekend Update coverage of the weightlifting finals at the "All-Drug Olympics". 

The All-Drug Olympics was part of SNL's Weekend Update segment during SNL's 14th season opener in October 1988. It is less than two minutes long, but is still funnier than any SNL sketch from recent years. Dennis Miller introduced the hilarious premise as "an idea whose time has come. The first All-Drug Olympics opened today in Bogota, Columbia. Athletes are allowed to take any substance whatsoever before, after, and even during the competition. So far, 115 world records have been shattered." 

Kevin Nealon served as the live correspondent covering the weightlifting finals. He introduced Soviet weightlifter Sergei Akmudov (played by the late Phil Hartman) as he prepared for a clean and jerk of over 1500 pounds. According to Nealon, Akmudov had taken "anabolic steroids, novocaine, Nyquil, Darvon and some sort of fish paralyzer", along with several cocktails within the hour. 

Nealon then stepped away to allow viewers to watch Akmudov attempt a world record clean and jerk of over 1500 pounds. Viewers got more than they bargained for, however, as Akmudov not only failed to lift the weight off the floor, but also tore his arms clean off, leaving blood squirting from his shoulders. 

NOTE: This video shows a lot of blood at the 58-second mark, and although it is not real, it is not for the squeamish. And it is definitely not for the kids.

The funniest part of the sketch is Nealon's deadpan reaction to the gory scene: "You know, you hate to see something like this happen, Dennis. He probably doesn’t have that much pain right now, but I think tomorrow he’s really gonna feel that, Dennis. Back to you." 

DISCLAIMER: Holdout Sports does not condone performance-enhancing or recreational drugs of any kind. 

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